


Goodbye Yellow Brick Road...

by bxckyslxt



Category: Captain America, Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Author is not sorry about this, Both characters die, Bucky has D.I.D, Canon-Typical Violence, Drowning but not in depth, Gay Bucky Barnes, Happy ending ish??, Heavy Angst, Limb loss, Little bit of graphic injuries, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, This is fucking sad okay get ready
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-01 19:21:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20263225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bxckyslxt/pseuds/bxckyslxt
Summary: What if the winter soldier had actually killed Steve in the helicarrier and Bucky was left with the body...?Inspired by the song "Goodbye yellow brick road" by Elton John =)





	Goodbye Yellow Brick Road...

The helicarrier screeched with the strain and pressure on it’s bottom half. The winter soldier was completing his mission, like a good toy. A well-trained guard dog. A perfectly oiled machine. Metal knuckles collide with a broken and bleeding face. Blood bursting at the seems of broken skin; casually strolling down America’s Golden Boy’s cheek. He’d lost.

The winter soldier, nothing but a ghost story all but a week ago, was beating him senseless; unable to do anything than take blow after of that damned metal arm. 

The winter soldier wore a borrowed face, it never belonged to him in the first place. The eyes that used to hold so much experienced joy and wonder; the cheeks that used to crease with the most dashing dimples Steve had ever seen; a cold expression was all to be seen now. Numb and emotionless, calculated and cold. Not his Bucky. It wasn’t Steve’s Bucky raining down hard punch after hard punch - it couldn’t be. It just couldn’t. Steve’s Bucky was in there somewhere, screaming and crying at the winter soldier to stop, that Bucky knows the man beneath his muscled frame. Bucky’s Stevie. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to walk away from a fight, he was dying at the hands of the worst of Bucky’s mind. The virus HYDRA implanted into his skull and scattered his brain. 

Despite the disassociation, they were still Bucky’s hands landing more punches than the super soldier could take. Steve’s eyes were pulling shut, blood loss and brain trauma colliding too fast for Steve’s serum to catch up with. The cells weren’t healing - they were giving up. 

Steve couldn’t fight Bucky. No matter where he was inside his own head, the winter soldier wore Bucky’s looks and that was enough for Steve to surrender. He refused to retaliate, unable to hurt the man who he loved more than anything; He was happy to die at his hands. 

Steve’s world blurred and smudged together, never piecing together what was what and the differences of the real world. His eyes fluttering and staying closed for seconds at a time. The winter soldier was winning…

“You’re my mission, this must be done,” came the cold, final goodbye Steve never wanted. He hated every second of this, but if fate willed it so, who was he to disagree?

“It’s okay Buck, I know you’re in there.” The end of his sentence broke with a sob. His final cry for help. A dead man’s last words. “Bucky. James, if you can hear me, if you can see me, you can stop this. We’ll go home, we’ll fix this. You don’t have to let him win James, you can stop this.”

“Stop fucking crying about this ‘Bucky’ or ‘James’ or whoever. Whoever he used to be is gone. HYDRA made sure of it.”

Steve knew tears were running down his face, he could feel them - marginally - bonding with the blood on his features, drawing more out. This was it, this was how he was going to die yet, at least he got to see Bucky’s face one last time. One, last, time…

“Mission Complete,” and the world turned black.

Steve’s body went limp under the winter soldier’s. The winter soldier stood up with a groan as he reached for his gun, his flesh arm dislocated and broken - just like the man beneath him. The cold carbon-fibre casing against his skin. All kills were to be completed with his metal arm, but something told the winter soldier to make it personal. 

It was the man banging at the walls of his mind, desperately begging for the winter soldier to spare Captain America’s life. And what a show he was putting on. His eyes were raw and red from the tears, knuckles blooded from punching too hard against something that will never break, body hunched over in an almost defeat. Maybe, just maybe he could get one last look at his lover. Just maybe…

The sound of a gunshot racked through Bucky, the bullet in Steve’s head was also in Bucky’s heart. The winter solider had won. A trophy covered in the blood of a good man, a nice sentiment in the psychopath’s book.

The winter soldier started to slip, eyes phasing in and out of reality. Bucky started to wake up. Their body went limp, falling to the ground as their brain went blank for a second. Bucky scanned his surroundings, slightly dazed and confused as to what had just happened. 70 years without control and then he had it. He was back.

His glance caught Steve’s lifeless body, the picture making his skin crawl and his stomach reel. Bile made it’s way up his throat and Bucky let it happen. He emptied the lack of content in his stomach, sobbing horrifically, begging a God he didn’t believe in that this wasn’t real. This was all some twisted fever dream and he’d wake up in his military bed. Surrounded by his squad and his Captain. Rumours of the war coming to a close soon, so close to home and a life with Steve. But life was cruel and relentless; this wasteland of broken minds and terrible choices was the one he lived in. Completely out of his time, completely out of his mind.

And now, the love of his life was dead, killed by the gun in his right hand.

Bucky threw it across the room, crawling towards the dead body of his once best friend. The tears wouldn’t stop, the pain needed a release and Bucky was considering looking to see if there was another bullet in the barrel of the gun. A golden bullet to reunite Bucky with his Stevie, perhaps. 

He collapsed against the solid body, void of any life of any sort. Steve Rogers was gone, and it was his fault. Bucky clutched to his uniform, shaking and screaming at Steve to “Wake up. C’mon Stevie, it’s me. It’s me, Bucky. I’ve got you…” and finally: 

“We can go home now-“ The final words breaking Bucky’s soul in two. A clean tear down the middle. Another life removed from Bucky’s. 

Bucky laid his head on Steve’s chest, violently sobbing so hard his entire body shaking. His voice and lungs were going to give out soon from the stress of so much screaming. His mind was going to give out from the sheer pain of having his best friend die by his hands. It was all his fault…

“I’m so sorry Stevie, this is all my fault. If I had tried harder, been stronger, done fucking better. You’d still be here. This is all my fucking fault, I’m so sorry Steve, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” His voice breaking, inabling Bucky to speak anymore at one time. Cracks ripped up his vocal cords but he couldn’t feel it. It was like he had died along with Steve. 

The helicarrier creaked and groaned under the pressure of the damage down. The floor beneath Steve and Bucky moving and falling. They weren’t going home after all, nothing but a childish dream. Steve was never coming home.

“I can’t lose you Steve, not after everyone else I’ve lost. My Ma, my Pa, my sister’s aren’t even around anyone. I can’t lose you too, I can’t fucking lose you… Please just fucking wake up. Please, please, please just FUCKING WAKE UP! PLEASE! STEVE!” A new roar of pain flooding his body, filling his veins to the brim. His whole body feeling the hole that Steve left in his heart. 

“Arg-H!” Bucky grabbed one of the knives strapped to the winter soldier’s suit. He started hacking at the hand tainted his Steve’s blood and now his own. He couldn’t feel it all that much, the sharp pain dulled in comparison to agony in his chest. That hand killed Steve, his Steve. It had to go.

When the damage was done and the last of his skin split clean off, Bucky collapsed against the floor of the helicarrier. That was all it took for it to all come crumbling down and all of a sudden - Bucky was falling again. Except this time, Steve was falling with him.

Bucky grabbed Steve’s body and held it flush against him as they fell, plummeting miles upon miles of distance between the sky and the earth. Bucky knew that this might be the end, whether it was or not, he’d still die with the knowledge that he never could save Steve. He was his downfall, the reason his life was taken. If only Bucky had just died that fateful night in 1944, none of this would’ve happened. The winter soldier wouldn’t have killed Steve and Steve could’ve lived. He could’ve settled down, been happy, had a life he always dreamed of. But as always, it was Bucky’s fault that never happened. Steve and Bucky never could’ve had that life, living in constant fear of being caught red-handed and in love. Bucky had been a danger to Steve’s life from the start.

It was his fault.

The impact of coming down into the water at such velocity knocked Bucky unconscientious. The blood dripping down from his wrist bonding with the surrounding water in order to drag out more. Bucky was going to bleed to death in some body of water, holding the dead body of his soulmate. Not the most poetic way to go out.

He’d always wanted it to be heroic, for lack of a better word. Either some dainty fella or Steve shielded from some sort of attack during an impressive explosion. He’d be remembered a hero and his love would be at rest with his choices. Anything but the current situation he was in now seemed better. Bucky always thought he’d die before Steve did, at first he did. But now, everything was wrong. Steve was gone and Bucky was left in a world without him.

Bucky’s vital organs started failing at the blood loss, shutting down as if they had nothing better to do. This was the end of the line, Bucky had kept his promise, he was with Steve ‘till the end of the line but wasn’t supposed to be where the line ended. This is where the book ended with one last heartbreaking chapter. Only, this was Bucky’s story and it had so many plot holes, it wasn’t a story anymore. It was a folk tale.

A manic whining filled his ears, like a radio cries or white noise. His eyes lit up in white and Bucky took his final breathe. He was coming for Steve, they’d see each other again real soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if I made you cry !! Got this idea and wanted to write it =)


End file.
